Acceptance

I’m not the best there is at accepting things as they are. I never have been. My whole live has consisted of lamenting the world not being what I want it to be and not being where I want to be in life. I had a five year plan for my comic book career in high school that I’m currently on year 27 of right now. I’ve basically spent my entire adult life yelling about the unfairness of it all. Particularly when it’s related to me.

Today I started group therapy for the first time and was given homework. First, meditation. I’ve done some meditation before and found strange things inside myself when unguided. That I’m looking forward to. The second part of the homework was to research the phrase “Radical Acceptance”. Imagine my shock to discover this doesn’t involve a skateboard. Radical acceptance is about truly accepting reality as it is and rolling with it. I’d probably prefer a written report.

I had to really think about this as a concept. It’s an alien idea to me because I’m constantly looking for the narrative in a life of chaos. I have preconceived notions about how the world should work and how people should be which makes it hard for me to really look at life objectively. People should be kind, the good guys should win, the world should be fair. It’s all actually bull shit, but it’s been planted firmly in my head. 2020 and the previous six years have been hard lessons in relation to that and they’re lessons I’ve been refusing to learn.

Sort of. . .

In 2004, shortly after my mother passed away, I took my only trip to Disney World. I went down there knowing that the crowds would be huge, the lines would be long, and there was nothing I could do to control that so I may as well accept it and let myself have a good time. So I did.
THAT is radical acceptance.
I need to look at life more like Disney World. Accept that things are going to happen that I don’t like and that I have no control over it. Deal with the pain and move on.

Who knew you could learn from vacation?

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