All’s (State) Fair

I’ve never had a State Fair experience go from “This is fun!” to “I’m gonna die!” quite so quickly as this one. It was a really good time at first. I had a jumbo corn dog and a bit of a gyro. I know it doesn’t sound like much but when you’re a diabetic, any cheating is fun. I got to pet baby goats and rode the Tilt-A-Whirl. Like I said, fun!

Then I made my mistake. The Tilt-A-Whirl gave me a foolish sense of bravery so I figured I’d get on the ride known to the world as Alien Abduction. It’s known to me as the Gravitron. It’s NOW known as the “The Spinning Death Trap©”. I got on with fond memories of the thing when I was a kid but I wasn’t really prepared for what happened. To get everyone pinned to the wall and have our panels slide up the guy had to get the thing spinning faster than normal.
After a few seconds I lost the ability to breath regularly, and what air I did get was hot carbon monoxide mixed with smoke from a fog machine. My heart was racing. My entire body was sweating. Half way through the short ride I realized if I DID have a heard attack, the carnie would never hear me over the music or the screaming. I held Kit’s hand and prayed to a God that I wonder about sometimes to not let me die. I got off the ride shakily a minute later and wished to any god you can name that I’d never seen the thing. It took me three hours to recover. Most of that was at home lying in bed shaking.

Yeah. Next year I’m being more careful.

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