Some days you just wake up and things aren’t right in your world. This is one of those days. I woke up and all the joy and euphoria of the last two days was done the crapper. I’m snappish in my head and feeling bitter. Compliments feel like lies, and my reasons for continuing in my chosen path feel like so much bull crap piled up between me and the truth.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is me in the middle of depression. Not my normal “whoa is me” depression, but the angry and bitter depression. The one that wants to snap at people. The one that wants to tell everyone to go away and leave me a lone and let me suffer alone. Then I’d get angry if they do that. It’s really difficult for me to be around people when I’m like this and I’m sure it’s difficult for people to be around me.
The question is what do I do about it. Anger is one of the few empowering emotions when you’re depressed and it’s not something that’s easy to fight off. My incentive to crawl out of the pit isn’t there when I’m like this. I feel like I could break a bear in half. I just don’t want to do it. The only real option as I can see it is to try and change my thought patterns and try to get some sun light.
More on this tomorrow.