I’m trying something lately and it’s not easy. I’m trying to relearn who and what I am. I’m trying to dig deep and see the person inside me. A lot of what people see is what I’ve made of myself. Sometimes the one inside moves and it sends things on the outside shaking though. Anytime I hear the song “The Mary Ellen Carter” I start crying. I still don’t quite understand why. He’s moving around down there and wants to flex the walls of his home. He wants out and he wants to know why the door out is locked so tightly. I think part of the problem is that he’s still a kid. He didn’t grow. He just added the first set of outer walls and all I’ve done is add more over the years until on some level I AM the walls.
Despite the fear and that pain, I need to turn myself inside out somehow. I need to grow. . .