No. I’ve never seen Goonies.

I realize that this statement alone puts me into a category just slightly less reviled than child molesters in some eyes. People have told me on a regular basis that it is THE eighties movie. I’m not arguing against that. It may be. The problem is that I didn’t see The Goonies when it was first released.

My friends all watched it and developed a love for it and now when they watch it it’s like seeing old friends I think. They see it as a classic.

When I watch it, I see the old woman from Throw Mama from the Train and a who’s who of people who don’t have careers any more. Not to mention the whole thing seems goofy as hell honestly. Sure it’s a Richard Donner film, but so is Lethal Weapon IV.

That brings me to the point of all this. I STILL haven’t seen Goonies. I probably will NEVER see Goonies. Before it was a matter of never having the opportunity. Now it’s a matter of pride. I plan to go to my grave without having seen the movie. My friends still give me crap about this but that’s ok. I am comfortable in my oddness. I’m cool with it. All this of course with apologies to Sean Astin.


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